"Our present sufferings..."

I may have made reference to this scripture in a previous update, but I was reading Romans 8 today and verse 18 kinda jumped out at me:  “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”  Then, just a bit further along verse 21 says “in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God”.  There is so much more in that chapter – I encourage you to read it in its entirety.  I read it while in the lobby of my oncologist’s office, waiting to hear about my 3-month (after chemo) CT scan.

It’s almost not right that I open by talking about “present suffering”.  The last three months have been fantastic!  My spirits have seldom been higher.  However, when one has just had a CT scan and one’s oncologist moves one’s appointment up by a week, it does cause one to wonder a little.  Well, sure enough, the cancer is either back or was never all gone after all.  Apparently there is growth around the edges of where the liver surgery was.  Right now they’re planning to open me up again and clean up the growth on the liver.  I find myself once again caught between the bleakness of the oncologist’s outlook and the optimism of the liver surgeon’s outlook.  The liver surgeon seems to think he can clean it up quite easily.  The oncologist says if the liver surgery can’t happen quickly enough, we’ll need to do some more chemo.  However, he was also saying that he wasn’t sure the “tumour board” (I don’t know what that is either, but it sounds like a few doctors/specialists need to agree?) might not approve more chemo since the chemo between my liver surgery and now wasn’t effective enough and they might start to think “incurable” (yes, that word did come up).  The oncologist is really hoping the surgery happens toward the end of August.  He used the word “urgency” when describing the timetable.  I think I’ve stated that as accurately and objectively as possible.

So, if you’re so inclined, please feel free to pray especially for Sue, Amy, and Brodie.  I’m not exactly looking forward to all the medical appointments, procedures, etc., either, but my welfare doesn’t concern me nearly as much as theirs.  Another verse that I may have used before (I guess I should keep track J) comes to mind:  “I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.” Philippians 1:23-24.  I guess I’m kinda wishing I could say, with Paul: “Convinced of this, I know that I will remain” (v25), but my future does not seem that clear.